If I were to say that “God has been good” I think it would be unfitting to His character. I think it would be demeaning, in that He is always good and has never stopped being good. If I had not been born, He would still be good. If America had never been discovered, He would still be good. If man never fell in the garden, God would still be good. If God, in His infinite holiness, never chose to create for Himself this universe, encompassed by space and time, well then, He would most definitely still be good. It’s not fair, and I think we fail when we say, that “God has been good”. God is good. Will be good. It’s a westernized phrase. I can understand it. And I know what it means. But regardless of where I’m at in my life, in my place and time, God will always be good. And that holds this life together.
But for those of you who like specific answers, here’s a little something:
I moved back to Marysville. I did this because I believe Jesus called me back, not in a dream or through a homeless person, but through the Spirit who is at work in all of us. I was serving on the production team at Mars Hill Church (which I love) while living in Seattle, not having to pay rent, with 5 other guys. Seattle is where its at, people. If you want to be cool then move there. I was cool for a little bit. It was really great. But let me step back a few chapters… After I stepped off of staff at One28 last December (06), I think, I felt very troubled, and this is something I have not spoken about at all here. I had little desire to attend any type of church, because I struggle very much with the Christian church and many Christians in general. This is a topic for later writing. But I cannot argue the fact that congregating, fellowshipping, or making community (whatever you want to call it) is an absolute essential part of a Christian’s life. One might even say that “if you fail to work towards Christian community, you’ve failed at the Christian vocation.” For a few months, I lived without any real community with fellow believers. And on the faith scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, I hit a very low 1. If you didn’t really know that its because I’m a really good actor.
When I decided to move out of my father’s house in August, I moved in with a dear brother in Shoreline and shared a small apartment with him for 3 months. We decided to begin attending the Ballard campus of Mars Hill Church since it was so close to home. After a few weeks, we decided to go to dinner with some people who invited us after service. It was the first real fellowship I had had in a good many months. I felt like a new man. I truly believe the God was at work in that evening to restore a lot of what had fallen apart in my heart. They are dear friends of mine now (I lived with 5 of them) and I hold them very dear to my heart.
On a paralleling topic, since October, I’ve been privileged to befriend a few guys from Marysville. These guys were exactly what I wanted to be when it came not only to personality, but also to faith in Jesus. It’s true and rich. It’s gritty and deep. It’s down to earth faith. Faith that I never felt that I could accomplish. They were on the same page as me with my questions and doubts, but they had found true joy in finding the answers. I don’t know how to describe it, actually.
After a string of crazy, coincidental, small-world like experiences, I was able to talk with these guys about things, including community, cities, music, smoking, building, battling, praying, the study of Scripture, being really poor (and how no one in America really is), loving like Jesus, hot dogs, Ephesians, swearing, tattoos, abortion, writing, singing, the emergent church movement (God help us…), good art, bad art, bad gas, gas prices, money, not having money, the frustration of denominations, etc. I learned a lot. I realized a lot. I prayed a lot. In one of these conversations, I was told about a guy who was starting a church in Everett. I had heard about this guy a bunch before and how he’s really cool. “You should hang with this guy, tk,” I was told a few times. So I was able to hang with him a couple times and I saw how cool he was. His church will eventually be setting up a coffee shop. The coffee shop, while being a place to get good java, is also where the church will eventually meet on Sunday mornings. He needs people who really know coffee and how to make it. “Oh,” I said, “I happen to do that for a living.” After much discussion and prayer, I decided to commit myself to being a part of his church. I felt like I was being called to help, like this was something much bigger than myself and my little blip of an existence. So since late December I have been attending and serving at Mosaic Church (not affiliated with Mosaic of Oregon or North Carolina… or any other… places…). Please feel free to check out the site. Be sure to visit the “We believe” and “We value” sections of the web page.
That’s a very brief description of what has gone on in the last year. I am, though kinda bummed to not be living farther south (cause its cool), pretty stoked to be back in Mtown. I know many of you who read my blog live here, and that means I get to spend time with you all again. I miss you all, especially my family at Grace Bible Church. If it is appropriate to make a public apology on a blog, I’m gonna do it. I’m sorry I have left so many in the dark on how I am doing and where I am at. It’s not easy to be back in town and not attending my home church, to whom I owe so much. So much. I am sorry that I have not told you sooner that I love you and that I miss you terribly. I will be visiting with you soon and plan on hanging like the good ol days. Its true, I will be busy with work, wedding videos, ministry, and family, but you are my family. And I miss you. I’m also pretty envious that you got to hear Phil Johnson 2 years in a row at the Double K.
Alright. It is very late and I should have been in bed 2 hours ago. This was a difficult blog to write, and I’m sure there is much more to be said. If you want some coffee, you can stop in at the Starbucks at the Tulalip outlet mall where I will be working (I’ll also be covering shifts at the plaza 88 Starbucks by Haggen) and visit. I would love it. I already got to see SKH’s beautiful skinny face the other day, though I couldn’t spend time hangin with him which made me pretty depressed. But I shall see you all soon, and those I haven’t talked to in a while who are out of town, I miss talking with you and you can expect an email or two from me.
I remain forever grateful to you,
tk
10:30am – 4:15pm… tomorrow.
